The Sweetness of Doing Nothing

Embracing my Italian roots in the name of creativity

In a recent post, I shared some new mood boards featuring striped beach umbrellas, elegant women relaxing in cafes and on lounge chairs wearing oversized sunglasses, ceramic cups of espresso, and vintage advertisements for ruby-colored cocktails.

I realized that I didn’t want to just reflect those visuals in my wardrobe or take it as a sign to start planning a fabulous European vacation.

I am craving the essence of what those photos are saying: Relax. Slow down. Enjoy this beautiful life you’ve been given.

Last summer, my sister Laura sent me a book called The Sweetness of Doing Nothing by Sophie Minchilli. It’s short and sweet, so I read it quickly—too quickly, amid a stressful season of overextending myself.

Now felt like the perfect time to revisit it, this time from a healthier state of mind and a resolve to keep it that way.

In case my married Irish last name made you think otherwise, I am fully Italian on both sides of my family, and I think that this desire to live a sweet, slow, and indulgent life is woven into my DNA.

Here are the sections of The Sweetness of Doing Nothing that spoke to me the most this time around. My hope is that adopting this mindset will help me feel more like myself at my core, leading to a more enjoyable life and making space to do my best creative work.

If you’re a creative soul who loves finding beauty and creating it too, I hope you’ll consider following my Substack. Click below to Subscribe!

Italians Aren’t Lazy, They’re On to Something

I loved the way Sophie reframed the stigma that Italians are lazy by pointing out the obvious: busyness leads to anxiety, stress, illness, disease, and unhappiness.

Especially in today’s era, in which we can lean on automation for so many of our tasks, it baffles me that we as Americans are still clinging to a 5-day work week and 9-5 schedule that was established for 20th-century factory workers.

Even though I’ve worked for myself for most of my career, I still have a hard time stepping away from my desk during regular work hours (and also don’t think twice about working on weekends). As a creative person, this is especially silly of me.

I love a routine, but that doesn’t mean I can’t design one that encompasses the Italian necessities: rest and enjoyment, rather than staying strapped to a productivity treadmill that leads nowhere.

Minimize the Mundane, Maximize Delight

Sophie reiterated an Italian’s desire to live life to the fullest by using their energy to minimize what’s boring and mundane and maximize the things they find delightful, which immediately made me think of Mary Poppins’ "Spoonful of Sugar" advice.

Americans seem to really double down on the “misery loves company” thing. Life is already hard; we don’t need to make it worse! I loved that Sophie spoke to the Italians’ knack for taking hardships and making them feel lighter, something that feels natural to me.

I took this section as permission to lean into this more instead of feeling like I’m being judged for trying to make the best of a bad situation.

Sharing Meals

As you might imagine, a generous portion of this book was dedicated to the art of cooking and eating. Italians may be known for being lazy, but they don’t spare an ounce of energy or love when it comes to food.

Some of my fondest memories from childhood come from around the table, whether it was a weeknight meal with my parents and sisters, or Sunday dinner at my grandparents with extended family. I saw the way food was grown, prepared, and shared with immeasurable generosity.

Family dinners going back decades. The bottom right is from my parents' recent visit to Italy.

Today, the traditions still live on through big family holiday dinners. My extended family even has an epic group text chat that we use specifically to show off the meals that we make.

However, there was one passage I read that kind of kicked me in the gut.

For Italians, it’s not just the consumption of food but the practice of sharing it with loved ones that makes it so sacred.

In the book, Sophie reminds us that when we eat together, our brains receive a message that we are safe and happy, which provides our bodies with positive hormones and emotions.

I’m embarrassed to tell you how many meals I regularly eat at my desk, in front of the TV, or with one hand attached to my phone. I’d really like to make an effort to be more present in the meals we share as a family, to take true lunch breaks, and who knows, maybe I’ll even start taking afternoon siestas!

Appreciate Everyone

I’m going to publicly call my dad out here (he’s a Substack subscriber!) and say that he doesn’t always embody the Italian ideals of slow living. For anyone who knows him, he’s actually the complete opposite, operating at full speed (but also the person you go to if you want to get something done, fast).

However, there’s a different Italian quality I came across in this book that made me smile because I immediately thought of my dad.

Fare la scarpetta is a term that means “to make the shoe,” an expression Italians use to describe the act of pushing a piece of bread (the shoe) around your plate with your hands (the leg) to sop up all the remaining sauce until it’s perfectly clean.

It’s a gesture of appreciation for your host or the chef, which is something my dad is a shining example of—always showing and telling people how much they mean to him.

I have such a strong memory of my grandpa (my mom’s dad) smiling whenever I did the fare le scarpetta move. “Like Mike!” he’d always say, nodding to my dad with pride. These little traditions and sayings, the tiniest acts can have the strongest ripples!

Take Your Time

Time is a stressor for me. I have a lot of anxiety around it, I always feel stretched, and one of the themes of my book is about running out of time. This is very un-Italian of me and also unhealthy.

In The Sweetness of Doing Nothing Sophie shared a study concluding that people who are obsessed with being timely and who love multitasking end up sending themselves into anxious spirals, which ultimately undoes the productivity they are trying so hard to procure.

This year, I’ve been (slowly) making micro changes to let go of tasks and responsibilities that I thought I had to do, trading them in for more blank space and buffer in my schedule. I’d love to keep improving in this area, normalizing the idea that I have plenty of time to do the things that are most important to me.

See Beauty in Everything

Called Bella Figura, good impressions are everything to Italians. From finding beauty in everything (literally the ethos for this Substack) to appreciating details like fine fabrics, architecture, and art, they don’t just want to live—they want to live beautifully.

Like my desire to make the best of bad situations, I sometimes feel embarrassed by my inclination to get overly inspired by tiny details. Again, it’s silly! I should be celebrating that innate quality, not hiding it.

Whether you’re Italian or not, I’d love to hear what you think about this idea of the sweetness of doing nothing. Are you called to embrace it? Do you feel resistance? Share below!

✍️ Creative Exercises/Journal Prompts

1. Assess your daily life. Is there space to relax, restore, and appreciate?

2. What’s a habit, ritual or ethos from your ancestry you’d love to embody?

3. Plan a special meal with people you love. How long can you make it last?

☀️ Five good things

When we can recognize the things that bring us the most joy, we invite more of them into our lives. Here are five things that made me happy this week. Share yours below!

Five good things that happened this week:

1. I listened to an excellent episode of What Went Wrong, where they interviewed Zach Braff about his debut film, Garden State (celebrating its 20th anniversary this year)! Zach talked at length about asking for what you want while also acknowledging the role that luck plays in green-lighting creative projects. Coming off an angsty writing month, I found his words comforting and reassuring, propelling me back into my daily writing routine.

2. I had my first MOXI laser treatment done! Right now, I look like I have the worst sunburn of all time, and it does not at all feel like a good thing, but I’m celebrating that I’ve prioritized my skincare and that I’ve found an aesthetician that I love and trust.

3. I enjoyed watching this aspiring chef series from YouTube creator Michel Janse, where she attempts to make elevated meals for her family and friends.

4. I kicked off each weekday by listening to about ten minutes of these manifestations. My take on manifesting is that if you believe it works, it works, and that’s good enough for me. 😊

5. It was a fun Film to Table week! Our Mean Girls episode was released Thursday, which you can watch here or listen to here. We also recorded our 13 Going on 30 episode, and I had a little too much fun trying to create Jenna’s “Thriller” dance look, using only what I could find in my closet.

💬 Share your intention

Whether it’s a giant leap, a tiny to-do list item, a habit change, or something else, there is power in accountability, and this is a safe space to share your aim. Some weeks, we’ll fail, others we’ll soar, but with support, we’ll always keep going together.

Until next week, get out there and make something beautiful.

Michelle

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