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is a weekly newsletter designed to give you a regular touchpoint with your projects, inspiration to fuel your creativity and encouragement to keep going.✨ This free version is published on the first Sunday of each month and I hope it sparks a new thought, an idea, or leads you to take a positive action.
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Her style is impeccable. He’s charming as can be. They’re making all the right choices, and look where it’s taking them.
Who am I talking about?
An influencer? A celebrity? Someone on a list of impressive people under an impressive age?
No. I’m talking about us. Me. And you.
The fantasy versions of ourselves.
Your Fantasy Self, My Definition
Your fantasy self is a version of you that you could be. It’s not out of the realm of possibility, but there are current circumstances preventing you from embodying this idealized individual.
You think about your fantasy self often, but you’re not in active pursuit of becoming them.
You’re not responsible for the outcome. Leave that up to divine intervention. “Working” for it would kind of negate the pleasure in the fantasy.
What does your version look like?
I’ve been thinking about this concept of a fantasy self for a while, but I hadn’t quite defined my version. While we might share common human aspirations, our individualized versions are going to look quite different. And I think you’ll wholly agree after reading my personal description. 😂
You can try refining the picture of your fantasy self by pondering the following:
What does your fantasy self look like?
What’s their job?
What’s their attitude?
What does their home look like? Do they even have a home?
How do they spend their days?
What are their mannerisms?
If you’d like to indulge in this exercise further, try writing a description or putting together a visual collage.
Here’s what I wrote about my fantasy self:
A fancy lady. Respected but humble. Elusive. Rarely shows up but always acknowledges the event. Like Mary Poppins, practical, with doses of sentimentality. Has a driver. Bring the car around, please. And a gardener. Wears a lot of drapey clothes and giant cocktail rings. The waiter brings out her special thing upon arrival. Nieces and nephews describe her as “interesting.” Nobody really knows what she does. A patron of the arts. First class flyer. Museum visitor. Art collector. Has season tickets to the theater.
Where fantasy and reality cross paths
A few years ago, I was helping my friend Muriel with a photo shoot. It was a beautiful, warm day and the sun was just beginning to set. I stood in front of a pair of bronze doors wearing a white dress, black heels and a giant hat, dragging a beautiful suitcase behind me.
In between shots, I told Muriel, “I want to be this person, looking so fabulous and heading off an adventure!”
She knitted her eyebrows together gave me a weird look. “What do you mean? You are this person.”
After the photoshoot, the company she was working with gifted me that fabulous suitcase and it felt a little like the Universe handing me a prop and saying, “here, go and own that person you say you want to be.”
Part of stepping into your fantasy self is accepting the reality that you’re already doing it. We’re so quick to criticize ourselves and hesitant to acknowledge the parts we like!
What if you were to open yourself up to the idea that, you’re really quite wonderful?
Bridging the gap between fantasy you and reality you
Looking at the description of my fantasy self, I can spot things I already do but am not acknowledging. I also see things that I could easily do without much time, effort, or spending a dime.
Things like: Sending gifts, recognizing people, celebrating them and their moments, especially “small” ones. Wearing more cocktail rings or things that I think are pretty. Visiting museums. Not getting concerned about things that are irrelevant to me and my life.
The car and driver — maybe that can wait. Or maybe that’s unnecessary. Or maybe a town car company would like to sponsor my content. I’m keeping an open mind. 😂
Don’t be afraid to let things come true
In reviewing the last sentence in the paragraph above, I hate that I wrote the line, “maybe that’s unnecessary.” Is it unnecessary? Of course. But I mean, most things are, right?
We live in a state of lack, where even people who have what they want live in constant fear that they’ll lose it, and it’s an awful thing to do to ourselves. We can’t exist in a state of lack and abundance at the same time. If we have to choose, I vote for abundance.
The quote from the end of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory comes to mind: “Don't forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he wanted. He lived happily ever after.”
You won’t run out of fantasies. New ones will populate. We have to stop looking at everything like a ladder, a summit, or a staircase. Our aspirations might not always bring you up, but it’ll bring you out, and hopefully closer to the happiest, purest, most creative version of you.
I hope you’ve been enjoying this first post of the month, free for all subscribers! If you’d like to receive more content like this, including occasional free resources and access to our small creative community, and the entire archive of posts, consider switching to a paid subscription by clicking below.
Coming Soon
Next week, we’ll be chatting about how to put this concept of your fantasy self work: Refining your personal aesthetic. Click above and sign up as a paid subscriber if you’d like to receive it!
✍️ Creative Exercises/Journal Prompts
What part of your fantasy life are you already living out? Take a moment to celebrate!
Write or create a visual collage that describe your fantasy self.
Ask a friend to describe their fantasy self to you.
☀️ Five good things
When we can recognize the things that bring us the most joy, we invite more of them into our lives. Here are five things that made me happy this week. Share yours below!
Five good things that happened this week:
I was in the mood for live theater and opted for the next best thing: watching the newly-released stage recording of the musical, Waitress. I loved it! The ending made me so happy.
I took myself out on a creative date day to Epcot’s Festival of the Arts. My favorite part was drawing class (see below)!
I finished reading a wonderful book called Talking at Night by Claire Daverley. It was a soft, quiet story, but was also somehow a page-turner for me.
Billy Joel released a new single after a 30-year pause and I’ve listened to it about 100 times. You can read my post about how it helped get me through a tough day here.
I met up with my college roommate and we had the best day together: antique shopping, we visited a museum (check, fantasy self), and sipped coffee in a bookstore.
💬 Share your intention
Whether it’s a giant leap, a tiny to-do list item, a habit change, or something else, there is power in accountability, and this is a safe space to share your aim. Some weeks, we’ll fail, others we’ll soar, but with support, we’ll always keep going together.
✨ Question of the week: Share three things about your fantasy self.
Until next week, get out there and make something beautiful.
Michelle
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